Tag: Mental Health
-
Not Today
For the first time in weeks, I have nothing I HAVE to do today. No appointments, no commitments, no soccer practice, nothing to do outside of my house. What a wonderful gift of a day. May has always been hectic because it’s the end of the school year where I’ve lived since I had kids.…
-
OCD
I have a lot of issues with the way Hollywood portrays Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It doesn’t look the same for everyone. It’s not always about obsessive cleaning and organizing. It’s so much more complicated than a ton of stupid rituals or constant checking on things you know you’re supposed to do like lock the door…
-
Bad Blogger!
I have felt myself fading from blogging the past few days. I’m not even sure how long it’s been. One day? Two days? After my January break from blogging, I wanted to be consistent. I love stats and metrics, so I love when I see that I’m on some super long streak. But at the…
-
the Help abandons me
today I had a therapy appointment. Once upon a time, when I first retired from the military, I decided quickly that I needed to find a therapist. I checked my new insurance plan to see who was covered around here and chose a place that sounded good. I was randomly paired up with someone. That…
-
Taking ownership
I’ve had a couple of life-changing things happen in the last week or so, mostly revelations in my own mind and results from deep meditation. I feel like I’ve turned some corner on everything. It’s showing up in weird, unpredictable ways, but mainly it’s the peace I feel inside me now. I do editing work…
-
Boy #2
Boy #2 is about to be 17 on Thursday. This feels impossible because it’s gone by so fast. It’s also crazy to think that he’s THISCLOSE to being an adult. In some ways he’s ready for more responsibility and in other ways, he’s still very much a child. He’s changed a lot since Boy #1…
-
Manifestation of Stress
Things here are still stressful. People are still who they’ve always been. And I am just trying to hold it all together. But my body is showing me that it remembers the past traumas and pain. It remembers what it’s like to spend all of its energy on just staying alive. Suddenly my appetite changes…
-
The Past
Things have been tough here with our guests, Boy #1 and the Squatter. Boy #1 had a tough life. Growing up, he required so much attention and time. It was exhausting. He can still be exhausting. He fights with so much more than anyone I know. He has been diagnosed with so many things like…
-
I don’t know anything anymore
Everything feels a little hurty right now. From all this stuff in the media, to hurting friends, to this squatter in our house. It all feels like so much sometimes. I don’t understand why everything has to feel so hard sometimes. Or why people can’t act normal. And mostly I just want to know how…
-
Surviving
This situation is hard. But I am doing ok. I am frustrated but not freaking out. My body remembers the physical fear I used to feel. Sudden movements find me on edge often. I am annoyed, but not revealing anything about how I feel. Parents #2 texted my wife and I last night, thanking us…