I don’t know anything anymore

Everything feels a little hurty right now. From all this stuff in the media, to hurting friends, to this squatter in our house. It all feels like so much sometimes. I don’t understand why everything has to feel so hard sometimes. Or why people can’t act normal.

And mostly I just want to know how I lost so much knowledge? Or is it simply self awareness that you only acquire by aging and realizing that you actually know very little? I knew everything before. Or I guess I just thought I did. I also don’t really know when before and after exists. Having kids? Having which kid exactly?

I feel stressed today. I feel trapped too. I wish there was a way to run and hide and sleep until everything just fixes itself. I need the squatter to figure life out soon. This weekend starts soccer games unless the weather saturates the field too much. Then there will be lunch out and a trip to the movies for my wife and me! The kids and squatter will be playing a long game of WarHammer on the table. Perfect day for an afternoon out! So I will focus on the plans for tomorrow and not dwell too much on the mess of today.

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