Category: The Real Me
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Name Change
I’ve been ready to change my name since I was four years old. Once I was strong enough to move my furniture around my room, I used to hide behind my dresser and write my chosen name in crayon on the back of my dresser. I would write Timmy or Sylvester over and over. I […]
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focus, Focus, FOCUS!!
My ADHD brain has lost its way. In the last few days I have left a huge trail of destruction through the house, been unable to finish tasks, and have been daydreaming more than ever. Today was no different. I made a mistake that was so cringeworthy that I am hesitant to repeat it here […]
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Summing up a life
The funeral was today. As expected, it was difficult. As an empathetic person, I felt sadness all around me. There were pictures of her scrolling on the tv the entire time. And wouldn’t you know it, every single picture of her with a birthday cake in front of her was all smiles of pure joy. […]
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Repressed pain
Losing my wife’s grandmother sent me into some kind of bizarre panic. It took me until last night to make the connection. But it was weird. I didn’t understand why I was excluded, unloved, and undesired. I could see that there was a part of me that was not reacting properly and going into panic […]
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On Adolescence
Boy #1 will be 20 in May, Boy #2 will be 17 in April, and Boy #3 just turned 12 in November. I really feel like Boy #3 and I have so much in common. For example; our sense of humor and the things we find funny, the way we relate to people in general, […]
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Sunglasses
I bought new sunglasses recently. When I was in my 20s, I used to lose them all the time, so I never invested in a decent, comfortable pair. I did once buy this fancy pair of Nike sunglasses right after basic training, but they were the wrong color for wearing in military uniform. And then […]
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Dig Deep
I started this blog to work on putting myself out there and to stop living like I needed to appease everyone. With that came the unfortunate truth that I didn’t reveal much about myself and most of my friends were really acquaintances who didn’t know much about me. In retrospect I had so much to […]
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Daily Prompt 1/18/2023
Where can you reduce clutter in your life? HAHAHAHA!! this is particularly funny as a daily prompt after my earlier post today. I am constantly fighting clutter in most aspects of my life. Literal clutter, electronic clutter, mental clutter. I can reduce the real clutter the easiest, the electronic clutter the second easiest, but the […]
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Some days I really suck
This morning has been a wreck. My main ADHD struggles are time management, organization in general, and creating piles of clutter. This creates tons of problems for me in various ways. I really struggle to pick it all up once it’s gotten to be too much for my brain. This means piles of clothes where […]
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What now?
I feel something stirring inside of me. Something I am meant to be doing. Sometimes it feels demanding, like I am running out of time to do whatever this is. Other times it feels like I need to just slow down and listen, learn what this calling is about. I have tried on so many […]
Zander's Inside Voice 