Tag: family
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Summing up a life
The funeral was today. As expected, it was difficult. As an empathetic person, I felt sadness all around me. There were pictures of her scrolling on the tv the entire time. And wouldn’t you know it, every single picture of her with a birthday cake in front of her was all smiles of pure joy. […]
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Family Dramas
Does anyone have a completely drama-free family? I don’t think so. There always seems to be that person or I guess people (in some families) that just can’t get it right. No matter what, they’re obnoxious. Whether they just want to be difficult, enjoy tormenting others, are selfish, or have some kind of mental/personality disorder, […]
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Repressed pain
Losing my wife’s grandmother sent me into some kind of bizarre panic. It took me until last night to make the connection. But it was weird. I didn’t understand why I was excluded, unloved, and undesired. I could see that there was a part of me that was not reacting properly and going into panic […]
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On Adolescence
Boy #1 will be 20 in May, Boy #2 will be 17 in April, and Boy #3 just turned 12 in November. I really feel like Boy #3 and I have so much in common. For example; our sense of humor and the things we find funny, the way we relate to people in general, […]
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It’s Almost Time
I have everything I need to change my name legally now. I can feel that I am ready for it and that it needs to happen soon. There’s just a few things I worry about, like telling everyone. And changing all the documents to the correct name. And then the part where I file to […]
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Dig Deep
I started this blog to work on putting myself out there and to stop living like I needed to appease everyone. With that came the unfortunate truth that I didn’t reveal much about myself and most of my friends were really acquaintances who didn’t know much about me. In retrospect I had so much to […]
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Diana Part III
I have been dutifully trying to figure out what happened to my great-great grandmother for almost a year now. It’s not easy because she was never married to my great-great grandfather and I never knew my great grandfather. I’ve written about some of my saga with researching Diana here and here. Recently I found something […]
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What now?
I feel something stirring inside of me. Something I am meant to be doing. Sometimes it feels demanding, like I am running out of time to do whatever this is. Other times it feels like I need to just slow down and listen, learn what this calling is about. I have tried on so many […]
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Being small
Back in March 2015 I finally broke. Everything was collapsing around me at home and at work. My marriage was failing, work sucked and I felt lost, and I just didn’t want to live anymore. What ultimately pushed me over the edge was finding out Boy #1 was dealing with serious bullying and wanted to […]
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It came today
Since I became an adult, I have had the original copy of my birth certificate that my parents received after I was born. The copy they used to register me for school, for extracurricular activities, again for middle school when we moved, and then in high school when we moved again. I used it to […]
Zander's Inside Voice 