Category: Memories
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Summing up a life
The funeral was today. As expected, it was difficult. As an empathetic person, I felt sadness all around me. There were pictures of her scrolling on the tv the entire time. And wouldn’t you know it, every single picture of her with a birthday cake in front of her was all smiles of pure joy. […]
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Repressed pain
Losing my wife’s grandmother sent me into some kind of bizarre panic. It took me until last night to make the connection. But it was weird. I didn’t understand why I was excluded, unloved, and undesired. I could see that there was a part of me that was not reacting properly and going into panic […]
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On Adolescence
Boy #1 will be 20 in May, Boy #2 will be 17 in April, and Boy #3 just turned 12 in November. I really feel like Boy #3 and I have so much in common. For example; our sense of humor and the things we find funny, the way we relate to people in general, […]
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Dig Deep
I started this blog to work on putting myself out there and to stop living like I needed to appease everyone. With that came the unfortunate truth that I didn’t reveal much about myself and most of my friends were really acquaintances who didn’t know much about me. In retrospect I had so much to […]
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Being small
Back in March 2015 I finally broke. Everything was collapsing around me at home and at work. My marriage was failing, work sucked and I felt lost, and I just didn’t want to live anymore. What ultimately pushed me over the edge was finding out Boy #1 was dealing with serious bullying and wanted to […]
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It came today
Since I became an adult, I have had the original copy of my birth certificate that my parents received after I was born. The copy they used to register me for school, for extracurricular activities, again for middle school when we moved, and then in high school when we moved again. I used it to […]
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Daily Prompt 12/28
Have you ever been in an automobile accident? Yes, several and none have been my fault. The most recent was 2012. I was going straight in the right lane on a busy 4 lane road. Someone in the left lane waved a person from the other side to turn in front of them. The person […]
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Post Holiday Stuff
As a kid, I always felt really sad after Christmas. I don’t really know why, even to this day. It was this feeling of letdown, I guess. We saw our extended family a lot, there were presents and good food and so much fun. And then we were just at home. My dad was a […]
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Daily Prompt 12/26
Who are the biggest influences in your life? This is a tough question for me now. I have been on a journey these last two years that has changed my perspective on my past. As I’ve healed, I see my life in such a different way and who has shaped who I am now. I […]
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Great Sadness
My father texted me this morning to tell me that his sister, my aunt passed away last night. Ugh. There are so many layers to this. My father’s family of origin has been one of those topics I don’t really like to talk or even think about. His mother was a narcissistic, lying, dramatic bitch. […]
Zander's Inside Voice 