Tag: trauma
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Inner Strength
I’m here. I’m surviving. And in some ways I feel myself thriving. The key for me is digestible small chunks of information. No doom scrolling, no freaking myself out with hours of reading the news on various platforms and social media accounts. The key for me is to preveng panic because that’s what takes away…
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Built for right now
I’ve been thinking these last few days about everything I have been through and how it was hard at the time in most cases, but how some of these things didn’t feel as hard until after the fact. Like in the moment I was just surviving and pushing through, not realizing that one day things…
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Current Situation
So… Things are rough in the US right now. I go back and forth between fucking BRING IT and absolute and total fear for these next four years. Honestly I worry more about Child #2 than myself but the absolute worst possible case scenario that anyone can dream up is pretty awful. Concentration camps? Arrested…
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Dueling Journeys
Here’s a timeline of my journey to become Zander: Age 4 – I vividly remember sort of waking up and becoming conscious of myself as a person, a male person. I started choosing my own clothes and toys and I remember loving Spider-Man and other superheroes. Age 8 – My parents bought me a pink…
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Daily Prompt 9/29/24
The hardest personal goal that I’ve set for myself is to heal from my traumas and get to a better place mentally and emotionally. I used to react more than choose how I would respond to triggers. Now I try to be deliberate about how I will react to most things. Sometimes I still react…
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Daily Prompt 9/27/24
The trait I value most about myself is my charisma, or my rizz as my gen z/a kids hate me saying. It’s taken me my entire adult life to even realize and acknowledge that I have charisma. I have thought for a long time that I am introvert and need to be alone and away…
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Dear Dad, take 3? 4? 5000?
I have spent so much time in therapy working through some really complex feelings about my father. I have spent even more time processing the various interactions we’ve had throughout my adult life and just how toxic he is towards me. It’s been a long, painful road. Lately I keep seeing social media crap about…
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Daily Prompt 9/25/24
There are so many times where I’ve felt out of place. In fact, I think I have felt out of place more than I have felt included. But for this prompt, I’ll talk about my first day of 7th grade as a new kid at a middle school where 5 elementary schools funnel together and…
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Growth
I’ve been in therapy continuously for almost 4 years straight. It will be 4 years in January. I did some therapy online and with a military therapist on base prior to starting for real in January 2021. For me, I wanted to change things once I was retired because I could. I no longer had…
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Thinking about the past
There was a neighbor kid I played with for 4 years or so. He was a little bit older than me, maybe like 5-7 years older. I don’t really remember how old he was, just that he seemed way older than me. When I was really small, I thought he was fun. He knew a…