Tag: trauma
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Shaking off the dust
It’s time for me to get back to regular writing. I do miss it, but it’s been hard to get my head back into normal routine lately. I don’t really understand why I am struggling so much with writing consistently these last few months, other than working through some pretty old trauma that hurts a…
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Trauma responses come from where?
I had a follow up doctor’s appointment today. There’s a newish nurse there that I cannot stand. SHe’s perfectly nice but there’s something about her that bothers me. I pretty much had the beginnings of a panic attack while we were doing the questions and blood pressure stuff. I was sitting there telling myself that…
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the year ahead
This year is off to a great start. I feel really inspired and happy so far. I’m eagerly awaiting the stsaff applications to open for the camp I want to work at, lacrosse practice starts this week, and I feel energized. That’s rare for me this time of year, as I’m usually down and sad…
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Shot day
Today is Friday, the day I give myself a tiny injection of testosterone. I’ve been looking forward to this since Wednesday or so. This was my fifth week injecting myself. I don’t mind needles and so the idea of injecting myself wasn’t scary to me. I’ve had no trouble with it, especially because my doctor’s…
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Boy #1…revisited
This morning started out with some tough love from me to Boy #1. I found out things I had suspected and was updated on other things that I had no idea about. Only one of these things made me feel a positive emotion. I like the idea of him being in a band. He just…
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Showing up for myself
Since I started back with my original therapist, we’ve been deep-diving into things, and lately it’s been with my parents. Mostly my father. There’s been new things this year that he’s done, and I’ve also had realizations that we are likely approaching some level of cognitive decline with him. He seems to be having “senior…
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Rounding out November in STYLE
It’s been a rough week in our house. Thanksgiving Day was a marvelous feast thanks to my wife’s amazing cooking. We relaxed, watched the parade in the morning, and I was on top of the clean up all afternoon. We were ahead and everything went really well. Then Friday happened…My wife and Girl set out…
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Looking down, backwards, and at the mirror
I am still so unbelievably happy with my surgery results. Other than some stubborn swelling, which I understand will go down eventually and is totally normal, everything is going really well with recovery. I am still not to lift anything over 10 lbs and I need to be careful with how much I extend my…
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Letters and Apologies
I can’t believe we are crossing over mid-November already. Where has this year gone? Why did it go by so fast? I keep getting reminders of the break-in at my Florida house almost every week that remind that August is getting farther and farther in the past. The victim advocate calls me with every update…