Tag: anxiety
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No more pieces to give
I have officially given away all of my pieces today. Everyone needed something from me and there’s nothing more to give. I feel exhausted and spent. I know some of it is hormonal and some of it comes from being out at an event last night. My oldest tried to call me last night to […]
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The Bus Stop
Last year, Boy #3 (who we affectionately refer to as “Grandpa” even though he’s only 11) was the only kid in this neighborhood at his school. The bus had to come all the way to our neighborhood, which is at the edge of the district for just him. I was excited for this year because […]
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One Trick Pony
I have thought a lot about this blog and what I want to do with it and not do with it. I have read many other blogs and articles about how to write a successful blog. On one hand there seems to be some “conventional” wisdom about blogging and on the other, a “fuck it, […]
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Dear High School Friend,
A little over two years ago, we became friends again. Way back at the end of our teens, we stopped talking. After dating for two years and me repeatedly hurting you, I hurt you for the last time. But only because I had to let you go. You represented a past that made no sense […]
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Tomorrow feels scary
I have two appointments tomorrow. One is with my psychiatric nurse practitioner who prescribes my meds. And within these last three months, my meds aren’t working as well as they used to. My attention span hasn’t been what it was on adderall previously. I haven’t had an increase in forever and the next increase puts […]
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The Nothingness of Today
I gave myself a day with no expectations, nothing specific to do other than one scheduled appointment, help the kids cook dinner, and get out trash and recycling. I suppose that sounds like a lot, but it was spread out over the entire day. I also did some weeding around the flowers out front and […]
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Blank Slate
After going really deep into memories yesterday, I am staying out of anything deep for today. Yesterday I remembered details I had long forgotten. It seemed wise to just sit with those details and not try to think about too much more of that deep stuff. I’ve always felt like I had a great memory, […]
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Dear Friend,
You were my very first friend in the Tourette’s community. After J was diagnosed, I had nowhere to turn. I didn’t know how to handle the official diagnosis and finding the camp just before the deadline to sign up was exactly what we needed. Camp was exactly what he and I both needed. He found […]
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My Superpower
There’s lots of things I do ok at and lots that I’m pretty good at doing. There’s a few I think I’m spectacular at and a handful that are my strengths, hands down. But my superpower is deciding I am angry and building myself an entire narrative on how I have been wronged. I think […]
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Fatigue has set in…
I’ve been going nonstop for weeks now. My body is tired and my brain is running on empty. I forget that this is how I functioned for 6 years. After recovering over a period of 7 months, I try everything to not end up in this place because it’s hard to even exist when you’re […]
Zander's Inside Voice 