Tag: suicide
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Here we go again…
My psychiatric nurse practitioner was not open to me trying anything new for ADHD. She wanted to increase my Adderall so that I am now taking the max dose per day for adults. I loved the Adderall at first. Even the smallest dose made a huge difference initially. It was like it turned all the […]
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Deep thoughts from the dark
I have been thinking recently about how I survived being suicidal for so long. Like I didn’t get close to attempting it after that first year. That first year I made plans more than once, wrote goodbye letters, and was very active in the process of choosing the right date and time. After that year, […]
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Suicide
(Please be aware that I talk very openly and candidly about my own experiences with suicide. If this is not something easy for you, please don’t continue reading or read with caution. This is not meant to hurt or trigger anyone else.) I understand that suicide is something that is very difficult to talk about […]
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Those Hard Things
Thinking about the deep things I avoid is kind of tough for me today. I feel myself wanting to avoid all of those things, even letting them in feels like too much right now. I know that I don’t need to pressure myself to finish that list today, but I want to get it done […]
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Traumatic Independence
I first heard about independence as a result of trauma earlier this year. It blew my mind because as long as I can remember, my parents told me I was born independent. I think part of that is my personality and the other part is based on trauma. I’ve read a lot on attachment to […]
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You can’t possibly know…
Something that has been grinding my gears for awhile now is this silly transphobic (debunked) theory about Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD). As someone who worked hard to hide from my feelings about my gender, this was interesting and upsetting at the same time. My curiosity got the better of me and I started looking […]
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The kids have all gone to school…
and I have wasted no time taking that deep dive into my soul. It’s like I need to be without them to really look inside. The second I felt myself look inward, I knew today was going to be one of those days. Something is sitting on the edge in there, wanting to get out […]
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Bodily Autonomy
As a child who was forced to hug relatives I hated, I learned that I didn’t get to make decisions for my own body. As a 16 year old who was sexually assaulted in a relationship, I was blamed for being alone with the person and not listening to my parents. As a 19 year […]
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We’re all beautifully damaged
As I started on my journey after retiring from the military, I spent a lot of time thinking about my VA claim. It’s a ridiculous process where, after 20+ years in the military and going to the doctor just enough to take care of the most painful things, you have to fight for everything that […]
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In Felix’s Memory
Facebook is a mess over Felix’s death. There are people who Felix was close to who continue to assert that he was male. And then a lot of people who claim that they didn’t know and therefore it can’t be true. A large group of other people are spending a lot of time and energy […]
Zander's Inside Voice 