Tag: depression
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I used to be better
I remember a time in my life, 2014-2016, when I could do the following: get up, shower, get dressed, get 4 kids up and dressed, get everyone to school/daycare, go to work, be productive all day at work, leave work, pick up the two at daycare, get home, change, get back on the road to…
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One Hundo
Today I reached 100 followers! I can’t even believe it! What began as a way for me to anonymously get used to speaking out with my voice and not censoring everything that was coming out of my mouth has turned into something bigger for me. I tried to have a blog so many times over…
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Stefani Germanotta
aka Lady Gaga I was watching Oprah and Harry’s show earlier today. It was the first episode and it hit me pretty hard. I’m really familiar with Harry’s story at this point, and I know “stuff” had happened to Oprah, but I learned a lot more about her in this first episode. She also talked…
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Internal Revolution
I feel a shift in me lately. Something is aligning properly and I can feel myself coming together better. I can feel myself just kind of shoving stress aside a lot of the time and not allowing it to capture me and make me feel bad about myself. I was explaining years of being tormenting…
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Hard conversations
Tomorrow I am going to have that super serious conversation with the ex. I have already drafted my list of concerns and points I need to make. I actually feel really good about this conversation. Although I plan to use some of the same language from the healthy relationships program my dad and I did…
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In My Head
I have heard this music in my head for a long time, since I was a child I’d say. I used to sing to myself when I played with my toys, rode my bike alone, or sat on the school bus and looked out the window. I started playing trumpet in 4th grade and the…
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Priorities
There are possible developments on the the horizon that may challenge me. I guess that’s true of anyone, at any given time though. I have struggled in the past with prioritizing things properly. Like always putting myself last or putting work before my family at the wrong times. It feels like I’m looking at another…
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Honoring Grandmothers
As a kid, I loved my birthday up until I was about 8 or 9. I can’t exactly explain what happened, but I think it had to do with being old enough to realize what was going on. Like I was suddenly aware of how I was being treated. My birthday became a day I…
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Room of Pain
No, no, not that kind of room of pain. This isn’t about BDSM. No judgement if that’s your jam, though. I’m talking about this place inside of me that seems to hold weird memories and the extreme pain of rejection. I was an outcast for so long. It seemed to follow me wherever I went…