Zander's Inside Voice

aka Lady Gaga

I was watching Oprah and Harry’s show earlier today. It was the first episode and it hit me pretty hard. I’m really familiar with Harry’s story at this point, and I know “stuff” had happened to Oprah, but I learned a lot more about her in this first episode. She also talked to celebrity chef Rashad Armstead about his struggles with mental health. I could relate to all of their stories in one way or another.

But Lady Gaga…she’s always fascinated me. Back in the day, it was like she was hiding from something. I didn’t pay enough attention to figure out what exactly she looked like. I remember I was shocked when I finally saw her face and realized she wasn’t all that strange. I mean, strange to wear a meat dress, but not much stranger than any other creative who wants to make a statement.

Her story about being asked by a producer to take off her clothes, being trapped in a studio for months while she was being assaulted, and all of that really hit me hard. Why is the answer “that’s just how the industry is?” Why has everyone just turned their back on this for so long? What took #metoo so long to come around? And why didn’t it change more about society?

Why do we make rape victims recount their trauma and distrust their story, but accept everything that other victims report at the truth? If someone is mugged, no one asks why they wore expensive clothing or flashed around jewelry.

And male victims of rape, why are they afraid to come forward? Why do we make fun of them? Every person I know in the military that reported sexual assault or harassment was labeled as a slut, troublemaker, and treated like they were the problem in each situation. And none of them had real justice, even the girl whose supposed rapist went to military prison. She was treated like an outcast and no one was friends with her. Any male she talked to got away from her as quickly as possible and accused her of lying about the guy who did it. From what I heard, they were both drunk, so maybe this was a drunken hookup gone bad, I don’t know. Maybe he shouldn’t have prosecuted. Maybe he should have. I don’t know what happened, and maybe no one does since they were both drunk.

Lady Gaga won’t say who did this to her, as so many victims do. Why bother when it will just cause more harassment and pain. I don’t know what will make this better, except to acknowledge that most people don’t make it up.