Tag: depression
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A little experiment
For years I wanted to write a blog but I was scared of my own voice. Sometimes I would post something remotely controversial on my FB page, like the time I said for everyone to understand that representation matters when our VP was sworn in. Immediately old military co-workers jumped on it, saying things like…
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Name Change
I’ve been ready to change my name since I was four years old. Once I was strong enough to move my furniture around my room, I used to hide behind my dresser and write my chosen name in crayon on the back of my dresser. I would write Timmy or Sylvester over and over. I…
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Being small
Back in March 2015 I finally broke. Everything was collapsing around me at home and at work. My marriage was failing, work sucked and I felt lost, and I just didn’t want to live anymore. What ultimately pushed me over the edge was finding out Boy #1 was dealing with serious bullying and wanted to…
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January Updates
I have not been back to posting regularly since the new year started. I have been feeling a block, actually. A dread almost, every time I think about what I want to write next. I have started two drafts and not finished them. When I do open up my computer, I avoid the WordPress tab…
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Hamilton
It was so awesome. Words cannot even describe the talent of the cast we saw. I was so impressed and happy to be there. I hope the cast knows how much joy they bring to people who have wanted to see this show forever. All I can think about is how much I want to…
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Post Holiday Stuff
As a kid, I always felt really sad after Christmas. I don’t really know why, even to this day. It was this feeling of letdown, I guess. We saw our extended family a lot, there were presents and good food and so much fun. And then we were just at home. My dad was a…
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Daily Prompt 12/19
Is your life today like what you pictured a year ago? This is another good question! Yes, it does look very similar to what I had pictured a year ago, especially because all the stuff with the VA came through. I wasn’t really expecting that so soon. I initially put my claim in almost a…
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News that weighs heavy
Apparently Texas Attorney General and Douche Bag Ken Paxton requested information about how many Texas license holders changed their gender in the last 24 months. This feels so incredibly dangerous. This information isn’t necessary. It’s one thing to be “concerned” about children’s health, but it’s quite another to chase around that information for adults. I…
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My Misery
I can’t go too deep into myself very often because it hurts too much down there. It’s where the deepest traumas live, where the pain goes when I have to push it away for just a bit because I can’t cope with it. It’s where the question of “Why did I have to be born…