Tag: anxiety
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I see you, Spider-Man
This is me, somewhere between 3-4 years old. I very vaguely remember these pajamas, but I do know without a doubt that I picked them out myself. I think the shirt fit much longer than the pants did because I grew fast in height at this age. I remember the shirt more than the pants,…
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College Reunion
My college reunion was this past weekend. I didn’t go. I did attend my wife’s last year. But there’s so much I can’t seem to get over with my class. There’s people I can’t stand and people that I’m sure can’t stand me. I was so different back then, so unhealed. I was with the…
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Unpopular Opinion
I saw Dear Evan Hansen last Saturday. I knew it won a bunch of Tony Awards. I knew it was well loved and very popular. And I did not like it. I loved parts of it, I must admit. There were some great songs. The acting was really good but the characters weren’t as developed…
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Bad Blogger!
I have felt myself fading from blogging the past few days. I’m not even sure how long it’s been. One day? Two days? After my January break from blogging, I wanted to be consistent. I love stats and metrics, so I love when I see that I’m on some super long streak. But at the…
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the Help abandons me
today I had a therapy appointment. Once upon a time, when I first retired from the military, I decided quickly that I needed to find a therapist. I checked my new insurance plan to see who was covered around here and chose a place that sounded good. I was randomly paired up with someone. That…
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Manifestation of Stress
Things here are still stressful. People are still who they’ve always been. And I am just trying to hold it all together. But my body is showing me that it remembers the past traumas and pain. It remembers what it’s like to spend all of its energy on just staying alive. Suddenly my appetite changes…
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I don’t know anything anymore
Everything feels a little hurty right now. From all this stuff in the media, to hurting friends, to this squatter in our house. It all feels like so much sometimes. I don’t understand why everything has to feel so hard sometimes. Or why people can’t act normal. And mostly I just want to know how…
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Surviving
This situation is hard. But I am doing ok. I am frustrated but not freaking out. My body remembers the physical fear I used to feel. Sudden movements find me on edge often. I am annoyed, but not revealing anything about how I feel. Parents #2 texted my wife and I last night, thanking us…