-
Two years ago
I lived almost a thousand miles from where I live now. I was finalizing my retirement from the Air Force. I was deciding what the rest of my life was going to look like. I was having horrific nightmares every night. I was scared of everything. I had recently learned how to manage my panic…
-
Weird is Cool!!
I used to be afraid of my weird. But at the same time, for me, my weird was out there for everyone to see. I wasn’t like everyone else. And when I was really small, that didn’t matter to me. I didn’t care what everyone else told me I was supposed to be, I was…
-
Untitled Drama
That whole thing with my cousin’s wedding got into my mind because of something else going on presently. I am still close with my ex’s family. They are still my family and we have all made an effort to stay in touch and celebrate holidays and big family events. Although I wasn’t sure that even…
-
That painful conversation
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what I want to talk about with my dad for that relationship class we are doing. I am going with the infantilizing thing, but there’s a lot to it. I want to make sure I get as much as possible in the conversation and I hope he…
-
The Inner Voice
Three years ago: Inner Voice-You are stupid. You make bad choices. You do everything wrong and you are worthless. You married someone that isn’t right for you way too soon. You didn’t even know this person. You are dumb. You had a kid too fast. Then you had three more kids. You are a fucking…
-
Success!!
Two weeks ago the youngest did amazing on her spelling test after really struggling with spelling. We did some studying and she worked really hard. She also got moved to another class in her grade that is more advanced in math. Today I found out that Boy #3 was named one of the two students…
-
Family, Part III
I have noticed that when I sit down to write, family is on my mind more often than not. I’ve written about what makes a family, dealing with conflict within my family, and many of my struggles with my parents. I like to hear about other people’s families too. As I’ve gone through life, I…
-
Live your best life…
This is what I need to tell myself every day. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to trust myself and live by my own rules. Maybe I just need to keep working on developing my own rules, after living by everyone else’s rules for so long. So the question I need to…
-
Now What?
Today my father and I worked on a lesson in this Emotionally Healthy Relationships course he became a facilitator for in his church. He wanted to practice it more than the one time they rushed through it in the training, and he thought it might help us improve our relationship. Initially, he was sending me…
-
Take Your Pills
So I’m watching this documentary about college students taking ADHD pills to get through college. My mind is blown. I have read articles about this, but I guess I didn’t understand how prevalent it really is. The way that these students are talking about this is crazy. It’s so interesting to hear these students describe…