Tag: trauma
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The End of an Era
In the US Air Force, as in all military branches, there is a hierarchy of organizations. To make it easy, I’ll just talk the basics on a base. You have the wing, which is composed of groups. And each group is composed of squadrons, some sorted by job or career field like civil engineering, and…
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Relief
We finally reached an off-ramp in my wife’s mammogram journey. Whew!! As I wrote about here, the same day that my wife learned that her grandmother passed away, she also got a call that they saw something on her mammogram and wanted to take another look. It was stressful, but ended up pushed to the…
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A little experiment
For years I wanted to write a blog but I was scared of my own voice. Sometimes I would post something remotely controversial on my FB page, like the time I said for everyone to understand that representation matters when our VP was sworn in. Immediately old military co-workers jumped on it, saying things like…
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R. Kelly
I’ve been watching the Surviving R. Kelly documentaries the last few weeks. At the time all of his abuses were coming to light, I was sort of out of touch with it. My life was always kind of nuts in the early 2000s. I do recall hearing some of it and that no one believed…
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Dig Deep
I started this blog to work on putting myself out there and to stop living like I needed to appease everyone. With that came the unfortunate truth that I didn’t reveal much about myself and most of my friends were really acquaintances who didn’t know much about me. In retrospect I had so much to…
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Being small
Back in March 2015 I finally broke. Everything was collapsing around me at home and at work. My marriage was failing, work sucked and I felt lost, and I just didn’t want to live anymore. What ultimately pushed me over the edge was finding out Boy #1 was dealing with serious bullying and wanted to…
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Great Sadness
My father texted me this morning to tell me that his sister, my aunt passed away last night. Ugh. There are so many layers to this. My father’s family of origin has been one of those topics I don’t really like to talk or even think about. His mother was a narcissistic, lying, dramatic bitch.…
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When the words don’t come to me
I feel a way today. About myself, my past, my future, who I really am. But I can’t put words to it. It feels like there’s this longing in me for something that will never happen. For a life that I’ve already been robbed of. I feel this deep, defining sadness about living a lie…
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Daily Prompt 12/20
Talk about your father or a father figure in your life. My father has been a frequent subject here for most of the time I have been blogging. Our relationship has never been what I wanted and needed but I do believe he does the very best he can do. I know he was under…
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Daily Prompt 12/19
Is your life today like what you pictured a year ago? This is another good question! Yes, it does look very similar to what I had pictured a year ago, especially because all the stuff with the VA came through. I wasn’t really expecting that so soon. I initially put my claim in almost a…
Zander's Inside Voice 