Tag: trauma
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News that weighs heavy
Apparently Texas Attorney General and Douche Bag Ken Paxton requested information about how many Texas license holders changed their gender in the last 24 months. This feels so incredibly dangerous. This information isn’t necessary. It’s one thing to be “concerned” about children’s health, but it’s quite another to chase around that information for adults. I…
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Stepping Back
When I first started thinking about retiring from the Air Force, I had so many ideas about what I wanted to do. A huge part of me was considering applying for this recall that would give me two more years in the Air Force. I felt like I needed that security blanket, like I wasn’t…
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My Misery
I can’t go too deep into myself very often because it hurts too much down there. It’s where the deepest traumas live, where the pain goes when I have to push it away for just a bit because I can’t cope with it. It’s where the question of “Why did I have to be born…
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Wisdom
I actually learned this a couple years ago and when I can stick to it, I feel so much happier. Forcing things has always led me to chase things that aren’t meant for me. When I’ve gotten those things, it doesn’t do anything for me. Or I realized that the path I was on was…
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The Sound of Silence
Disturbed version (Official Video) This version of this song is MY SONG. David Draimen, the lead singer, just emotes so much during the entire song. The music, the instruments, the way he sings the lyrics, his face, all of it is so intense. I’ve known the original version of this song for my entire life…
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Today’s Gift
Randomly my oldest called me mid-morning. I have been meaning to call him too, so I was happy to see his name on my phone. Plus, it’s easier when he calls during the day instead of dinner time, which seems like his standard time to call. Sometimes night time phone calls end up cutting into…
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Now I love the VA
I was screwing around on my computer last night for no real reason. Looking up that kid from the daycare, I guess. I realized that I had just given up on my VA claim about a month or so ago and I stopped checking. I went from checking twice a day to checking twice a…
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Damn
I once worked at a daycare for awhile after college, but before I joined the Air Force. It was like half daycare, half special education preschool/daycare. I worked there for about 9 months but left to join the Air Force. Those kids pulled me out of a deep depression. Both the special education kids and…
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4 months
I am just days away from hitting 4 months of blogging. This is crazy for a bunch of reasons. I had tried to blog in the past but I was scared to put myself out there, so I would create blogs, write a couple posts and then abandon them because it was too much. I…
Zander's Inside Voice 