Tag: trauma
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Trauma responses come from where?
I had a follow up doctor’s appointment today. There’s a newish nurse there that I cannot stand. SHe’s perfectly nice but there’s something about her that bothers me. I pretty much had the beginnings of a panic attack while we were doing the questions and blood pressure stuff. I was sitting there telling myself that…
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the year ahead
This year is off to a great start. I feel really inspired and happy so far. I’m eagerly awaiting the stsaff applications to open for the camp I want to work at, lacrosse practice starts this week, and I feel energized. That’s rare for me this time of year, as I’m usually down and sad…
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Shot day
Today is Friday, the day I give myself a tiny injection of testosterone. I’ve been looking forward to this since Wednesday or so. This was my fifth week injecting myself. I don’t mind needles and so the idea of injecting myself wasn’t scary to me. I’ve had no trouble with it, especially because my doctor’s…
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Boy #1…revisited
This morning started out with some tough love from me to Boy #1. I found out things I had suspected and was updated on other things that I had no idea about. Only one of these things made me feel a positive emotion. I like the idea of him being in a band. He just…
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Showing up for myself
Since I started back with my original therapist, we’ve been deep-diving into things, and lately it’s been with my parents. Mostly my father. There’s been new things this year that he’s done, and I’ve also had realizations that we are likely approaching some level of cognitive decline with him. He seems to be having “senior…
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Rounding out November in STYLE
It’s been a rough week in our house. Thanksgiving Day was a marvelous feast thanks to my wife’s amazing cooking. We relaxed, watched the parade in the morning, and I was on top of the clean up all afternoon. We were ahead and everything went really well. Then Friday happened…My wife and Girl set out…
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Looking down, backwards, and at the mirror
I am still so unbelievably happy with my surgery results. Other than some stubborn swelling, which I understand will go down eventually and is totally normal, everything is going really well with recovery. I am still not to lift anything over 10 lbs and I need to be careful with how much I extend my…
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Letters and Apologies
I can’t believe we are crossing over mid-November already. Where has this year gone? Why did it go by so fast? I keep getting reminders of the break-in at my Florida house almost every week that remind that August is getting farther and farther in the past. The victim advocate calls me with every update…
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Feelings
I’ve been thinking a lot about feelings and how I was brought up to not feel anything except angry. When I was sad, hurt, disappointed, too happy, or anything other than angry or numb, it was wrong. Disappointment was particularly unacceptable. I remember an incident where my dad and I were supposed to go to…
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Family Drama
There’s been a lot going on for awhile with the ex’s parents and their youngest child, who turned 40 this year. This child was content to be kind when she needed her mother to watch her children during the day. This child has always been blunt and rude and sometimes made trouble in public for…