Tag: trauma
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I don’t know anything anymore
Everything feels a little hurty right now. From all this stuff in the media, to hurting friends, to this squatter in our house. It all feels like so much sometimes. I don’t understand why everything has to feel so hard sometimes. Or why people can’t act normal. And mostly I just want to know how…
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Surviving
This situation is hard. But I am doing ok. I am frustrated but not freaking out. My body remembers the physical fear I used to feel. Sudden movements find me on edge often. I am annoyed, but not revealing anything about how I feel. Parents #2 texted my wife and I last night, thanking us…
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From my therapist
The main focus of my discussion with my therapist today was how to know when to take Ativan. I really should’ve taken it last Friday night for Girl’s party. I was so worked up and cranky. I would’ve felt so much better and not put myself through the hassle and fatigue of a panic attack.…
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I used to be better
I remember a time in my life, 2014-2016, when I could do the following: get up, shower, get dressed, get 4 kids up and dressed, get everyone to school/daycare, go to work, be productive all day at work, leave work, pick up the two at daycare, get home, change, get back on the road to…
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One Hundo
Today I reached 100 followers! I can’t even believe it! What began as a way for me to anonymously get used to speaking out with my voice and not censoring everything that was coming out of my mouth has turned into something bigger for me. I tried to have a blog so many times over…
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My ancestry adventures…revisited
I’ve written a lot about my searches for information on various family members. I use a bunch of sites to find information and sometimes I forget where I’ve seen something interesting. Right before our trip to Colonial Williamsburg, I saw something about being related to Pocahontas. I thought that was pretty cool, especially when I…
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Running through my head
I’m a deep thinker, often too deep. After watching a bunch of cool things today, the following things are running through my mind: The fact that when they started setting up Colonial Williamsburg, they wanted it to be some silly, unrealistic utopia of what colonial life was like. It’s been designed around what the top…
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Rolling with the Punches
The only thing constant in life is change. Everything changes eventually. Seasons, people, jobs, weather, sports teams, politics, fashion trends, even what sports count as Olympic sports. So why do we all hate change so much, even though we experience it at some level every day? I wish I knew. All I do know is…
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Internal Revolution
I feel a shift in me lately. Something is aligning properly and I can feel myself coming together better. I can feel myself just kind of shoving stress aside a lot of the time and not allowing it to capture me and make me feel bad about myself. I was explaining years of being tormenting…