Tag: trauma
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Dear High School Friend,
A little over two years ago, we became friends again. Way back at the end of our teens, we stopped talking. After dating for two years and me repeatedly hurting you, I hurt you for the last time. But only because I had to let you go. You represented a past that made no sense…
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I feel icky
My dad has a podcast. Sometimes we both go on and talk about whatever. Usually it’s current events, or news and views as he calls it. I love football. I have loved football for a long time. I am able to remember so much of it, like players’ names, stats, scores, life stories, whatever. But…
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Could my past be true?
One of my biggest struggles has been that I don’t believe that I have suffered as much as I have. It’s like I have to validate myself to myself. I often think I am exaggerating what I have been through, or I don’t remember something as accurately. Maybe my babysitter didn’t hit us as much…
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Dear Mom,
I started to handwrite this letter a few months ago, but had to stop because it overwhelmed me. You have no idea how much I have held inside all of these years. Every time I tried to get right with what happened and who you are, I feel this immense pain bubble up inside me.…
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you can’t be my friend anymore
I have unfriended two people on social media today that I need to let go of. This is pretty big for me, because one of them was a friend from middle/high school and the other is someone I have known for a long time. She used to be married to someone that I am friends…
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Suicide
(Please be aware that I talk very openly and candidly about my own experiences with suicide. If this is not something easy for you, please don’t continue reading or read with caution. This is not meant to hurt or trigger anyone else.) I understand that suicide is something that is very difficult to talk about…
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Shame
My entire life has been full of shame. When I did anything wrong, even as a small fry, I got lectured about how I should feel “ashamed” of myself. That happened every single time that I did anything wrong, whether it was age appropriate. One of the very first times I can remember was when…
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Those Hard Things
Thinking about the deep things I avoid is kind of tough for me today. I feel myself wanting to avoid all of those things, even letting them in feels like too much right now. I know that I don’t need to pressure myself to finish that list today, but I want to get it done…
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Traumatic Independence
I first heard about independence as a result of trauma earlier this year. It blew my mind because as long as I can remember, my parents told me I was born independent. I think part of that is my personality and the other part is based on trauma. I’ve read a lot on attachment to…
Zander's Inside Voice 