Tag: Mental Health
-
Trauma responses come from where?
I had a follow up doctor’s appointment today. There’s a newish nurse there that I cannot stand. SHe’s perfectly nice but there’s something about her that bothers me. I pretty much had the beginnings of a panic attack while we were doing the questions and blood pressure stuff. I was sitting there telling myself that…
-
A little secret about me
Something I do when I’m alone is ask my phone what I need to hear and then I hit shuffle on my music and the first song that plays is what I need to know in that moment. Sometimes my phone gets on a good run and everything that follows feels equally as good. So…
-
Shot day
Today is Friday, the day I give myself a tiny injection of testosterone. I’ve been looking forward to this since Wednesday or so. This was my fifth week injecting myself. I don’t mind needles and so the idea of injecting myself wasn’t scary to me. I’ve had no trouble with it, especially because my doctor’s…
-
Boy #1…revisited
This morning started out with some tough love from me to Boy #1. I found out things I had suspected and was updated on other things that I had no idea about. Only one of these things made me feel a positive emotion. I like the idea of him being in a band. He just…
-
Showing up for myself
Since I started back with my original therapist, we’ve been deep-diving into things, and lately it’s been with my parents. Mostly my father. There’s been new things this year that he’s done, and I’ve also had realizations that we are likely approaching some level of cognitive decline with him. He seems to be having “senior…
-
24 days to 2024
You ever have the feeling that an upcoming year is YOUR YEAR? That’s where I’m at right now. I can’t tell you what will happen or what will be so awesome, but something great is coming. I wish I knew or could express how excited I truly feel for 2024. I haven’t felt something so…
-
Looking down, backwards, and at the mirror
I am still so unbelievably happy with my surgery results. Other than some stubborn swelling, which I understand will go down eventually and is totally normal, everything is going really well with recovery. I am still not to lift anything over 10 lbs and I need to be careful with how much I extend my…
-
Letters and Apologies
I can’t believe we are crossing over mid-November already. Where has this year gone? Why did it go by so fast? I keep getting reminders of the break-in at my Florida house almost every week that remind that August is getting farther and farther in the past. The victim advocate calls me with every update…
-
Feelings
I’ve been thinking a lot about feelings and how I was brought up to not feel anything except angry. When I was sad, hurt, disappointed, too happy, or anything other than angry or numb, it was wrong. Disappointment was particularly unacceptable. I remember an incident where my dad and I were supposed to go to…
-
Consistency
I want to get better about blogging regularly again. I was so focused in the spring and I’m proud of how much writing I was doing. Then the squatter came and life changed. I felt like a prisoner in my own home. No one wants to be asked what they’re doing constantly or what they’ve…