The hardest personal goal that I’ve set for myself is to heal from my traumas and get to a better place mentally and emotionally. I used to react more than choose how I would respond to triggers. Now I try to be deliberate about how I will react to most things. Sometimes I still react in a way that I prefer I wouldn’t, but sometimes I lack the strength to do this.
Therapy is hard. Sometimes I dread my sessions and wish I could cancel because it’s so much work at times. Other times I really looked forward to it, because I know I have a lot to talk about. I like the validation. I like when she tells me I’m doing well or I’ve come so far or that she really likes how I reacted in a situation I am recounting. I don’t like when she asks hard questions. I can always tell when this is about to happen because she will interrupt me politely and say “Can we go back to…” And then she will ask that question. And I won’t always have an answer for her. But I will think about what she asks and work on it in my head alone.
I feel like I am constantly processing in my head. Like I am constantly growing and processing several things at once. I can see a huge difference in who I have become though. I can feel it inside. I know most people would define their hardest personal goal as something work or family related, or something like improving their financial situation, improving fitness, losing weight, or whatever. I do wonder how many other people are willing to work on their mental health as their main personal goal.
Leave a Reply