Tag: depression
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Being small
Back in March 2015 I finally broke. Everything was collapsing around me at home and at work. My marriage was failing, work sucked and I felt lost, and I just didn’t want to live anymore. What ultimately pushed me over the edge was finding out Boy #1 was dealing with serious bullying and wanted to…
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January Updates
I have not been back to posting regularly since the new year started. I have been feeling a block, actually. A dread almost, every time I think about what I want to write next. I have started two drafts and not finished them. When I do open up my computer, I avoid the WordPress tab…
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Hamilton
It was so awesome. Words cannot even describe the talent of the cast we saw. I was so impressed and happy to be there. I hope the cast knows how much joy they bring to people who have wanted to see this show forever. All I can think about is how much I want to…
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Post Holiday Stuff
As a kid, I always felt really sad after Christmas. I don’t really know why, even to this day. It was this feeling of letdown, I guess. We saw our extended family a lot, there were presents and good food and so much fun. And then we were just at home. My dad was a…
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Daily Prompt 12/19
Is your life today like what you pictured a year ago? This is another good question! Yes, it does look very similar to what I had pictured a year ago, especially because all the stuff with the VA came through. I wasn’t really expecting that so soon. I initially put my claim in almost a…
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News that weighs heavy
Apparently Texas Attorney General and Douche Bag Ken Paxton requested information about how many Texas license holders changed their gender in the last 24 months. This feels so incredibly dangerous. This information isn’t necessary. It’s one thing to be “concerned” about children’s health, but it’s quite another to chase around that information for adults. I…
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My Misery
I can’t go too deep into myself very often because it hurts too much down there. It’s where the deepest traumas live, where the pain goes when I have to push it away for just a bit because I can’t cope with it. It’s where the question of “Why did I have to be born…
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Christmas Decorating
When I was a kid, my mom decorated our whole house. She had specific things for each window, garlands for the railings, outdoor lights, indoor lights, old decorations, bubble lights you couldn’t buy anymore, ornaments I made in kindergarten and at Sunday school every year when I was really young. She made the house feel…
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Too Much
It’s all too much today. I feel so overwhelmed with everything. There were 5 conditions that the VA deferred and they don’t really matter anymore because I already hit 100% with the conditions they rated earlier. Now one of the companies they use for appointments is calling me and I cannot answer my phone right…
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Wisdom
I actually learned this a couple years ago and when I can stick to it, I feel so much happier. Forcing things has always led me to chase things that aren’t meant for me. When I’ve gotten those things, it doesn’t do anything for me. Or I realized that the path I was on was…
Zander's Inside Voice 