Tag: depression
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Too Deep
I’ve been feeling really good lately. It’s taken me so much time to unravel everything that happened in my early years and how utterly awful my parents were to me as a child. It feels like it’s all finally come together and I feel better than I ever have. I think about parts of what…
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Solving the Puzzle
After that great college reunion where I found those lost pieces of who I used to be and still want to be, I spent some time being happy and feeling relieved because I found myself again. And then I told my therapist all about it. And because she’s great at her job and one of…
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Building it back
Something that I always deal with is recovering after having a depressive episode, an ADHD blockage, or any time I’ve avoided something or someone for awhile is that I have to get things back to what they were before. Sometimes I’ve let something go so long that it’s overwhelming to even attempt to recover it.…
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Pieces of me
Going to my last ever (as we know it) college reunion this past weekend was one of the most defining moments of my adult life. It felt important to go because I knew so many people that were also going, but I also wanted to take the time to savor the moments I had there.…
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Father’s Day
Father’s Day in the US is coming up soon. I feel a way about it because 1. my father is a jerk and 2. because it feels no more appropriate to apply to me than Mother’s Day does. In a way I think they are both stupid Hallmark holidays. Mother’s Day felt really weird and…
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the year ahead
This year is off to a great start. I feel really inspired and happy so far. I’m eagerly awaiting the stsaff applications to open for the camp I want to work at, lacrosse practice starts this week, and I feel energized. That’s rare for me this time of year, as I’m usually down and sad…
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Shot day
Today is Friday, the day I give myself a tiny injection of testosterone. I’ve been looking forward to this since Wednesday or so. This was my fifth week injecting myself. I don’t mind needles and so the idea of injecting myself wasn’t scary to me. I’ve had no trouble with it, especially because my doctor’s…
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Boy #1…revisited
This morning started out with some tough love from me to Boy #1. I found out things I had suspected and was updated on other things that I had no idea about. Only one of these things made me feel a positive emotion. I like the idea of him being in a band. He just…
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Showing up for myself
Since I started back with my original therapist, we’ve been deep-diving into things, and lately it’s been with my parents. Mostly my father. There’s been new things this year that he’s done, and I’ve also had realizations that we are likely approaching some level of cognitive decline with him. He seems to be having “senior…