Category: The Real Me
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The Nothingness of Today
I gave myself a day with no expectations, nothing specific to do other than one scheduled appointment, help the kids cook dinner, and get out trash and recycling. I suppose that sounds like a lot, but it was spread out over the entire day. I also did some weeding around the flowers out front and […]
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Self Care Monday
Today is the first weekday in 3 weeks that we don’t have our contractor and his team working on our bathroom. The lack of construction noise is so pleasant. I love our contractor and his team; they are GREAT people who I trust to do work when I had to leave for appointments and grocery […]
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The Realized Dream
Years ago, I heard all about this crazy awesome broadway show about history. There was some weird controversy about immigrants and the VP at the time. That was really when Hamilton came on my radar. Living in the Southeast with someone who despises musicals, it never occurred to me that I would even like it. […]
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Dear Dad,
One of the ways I have been coping with everything is writing letters. I write them in my head all the time to you, to Mom, to the kids, to everyone. Sometimes I write them down. I’ve often thought about writing an entire book in the form of letters. I’m still thinking about it, actually. […]
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Traumatic Independence
I first heard about independence as a result of trauma earlier this year. It blew my mind because as long as I can remember, my parents told me I was born independent. I think part of that is my personality and the other part is based on trauma. I’ve read a lot on attachment to […]
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Dear Friend,
You were my very first friend in the Tourette’s community. After J was diagnosed, I had nowhere to turn. I didn’t know how to handle the official diagnosis and finding the camp just before the deadline to sign up was exactly what we needed. Camp was exactly what he and I both needed. He found […]
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You can’t possibly know…
Something that has been grinding my gears for awhile now is this silly transphobic (debunked) theory about Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD). As someone who worked hard to hide from my feelings about my gender, this was interesting and upsetting at the same time. My curiosity got the better of me and I started looking […]
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My Superpower
There’s lots of things I do ok at and lots that I’m pretty good at doing. There’s a few I think I’m spectacular at and a handful that are my strengths, hands down. But my superpower is deciding I am angry and building myself an entire narrative on how I have been wronged. I think […]
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What OCD feels like to me…
OCD is something that I really didn’t want to admit that I had. I haven’t been formally diagnosed, but three psychologists have suggested it when we’ve been working towards diagnosing something else. In the Air Force, it felt like it was ok to just “suggest” that I have it but getting a formal diagnosis would […]
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Adventures on a Friday
The morning started out crazy with the high schooler missing his bus, which was mostly my fault. I advised him to leave a little too late and the bus isn’t actually stopping at his stop; it’s stopping right next to the car of a kid who rode the bus last year. It’s a really nice […]
Zander's Inside Voice 