Category: The Real Me
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Once Upon a Time
There were parents who had children just because they thought they were supposed to. These parents thought the best way to raise these children was to direct every part of their lives and force them to be exactly who the parents thought they should be. There was no regard for who these children actually were…
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Deep thoughts
I’m still thinking about Oppenheimer deep in my brain. It was so intense and there were some parts that I understood so deep in my soul. There were things that scared me and made me feel better and made me wish I was still in the military, even though I was over it by the…
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Another departure
My awesome barber/hair stylist and friend is leaving the area. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear. She recommended another person but…it’s not the same. I feel myself wanting to pull away and just let go completely. I don’t want to say goodbye. I don’t want to learn someone else. It’s hard not to feel…
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Daily Prompt 8/11/23
No. And you can’t make me! But seriously, I have lived my entire life with an internalized emergency preparedness plan. I doubt very much that most people are always looking for a way out of situations like I was. When I was in first grade, someone shot at our bus with a BB gun. They…
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Daily Prompt 8/3/23
It’s not a physical thing, but more a mental thing I try to tell myself daily, but especially when I feel insecure or unsure about myself. “I am walking my own path in my own time and my own way. I am not in competition with anyone but myself.” I made myself unhappy for years…
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Daily Prompt 8/2/23
I want people to see me as a real person with a huge struggle to reconcile how I was born with who I really am on the inside. I have lived a very performative life as the person I was expected to me, while suppressing everything real about me. I appeared to have no personality,…
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Daily Prompt 7/27/23
What am I not curious about? I love learning new things about pretty much everything, but especially topics about people. I love learning the story about the person and how they became the person they are. Most people are fascinating, even people with completely different beliefs from mine. The crazy thing is that most of…
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I’m back, for real this time
The squatter has departed. For good this time. I feel relieved and like there’s much recovery to take place now. I went to a place mentally I haven’t been in for quite some time and it scared me. Thankfully I had a therapist appointment this morning and got to talk about it and all of…
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The End
The squatter leaves this weekend. Finally. And all the squatter’s disgusting stuff will be gone too. I wish it had happened much sooner. I’ve tried to be patient. I’ve tried to ignore the numbness inside me that prevents me from feeling the pain of remembering what life used to be. I’ve tried to be understanding…