(This is from my draft folder that I never finished back in early January and posted. I thought it would be interesting to try to finish it up with more than 9 months of time since I first started writing the entry.)
I had an appointment with my psychiatric nurse practitioner today. It was a telehealth appointment. I don’t really mind her much although at first she was miserable. I was seeing my first therapist at the same place and this NP would look back at her notes and bring things up to me to check on. I get that she was concerned about me and making sure I was ok, but those things were precious secrets that I had decided to share with my therapist after months of appointments and working together. To have an unproven, untrusted supposedly safe person bringing them up was too much. I said something to my therapist at one point and it seemed to stop. Then my therapist moved to another business and I could avoid this completely. But after almost two years, she doesn’t bother me as much. I actively plan what I will and won’t talk about with her. Even though she’s fine, we don’t have the kind of regular relationship I have with my current therapist. I only see her every 2-3 months.
Today felt different. It was our first telehealth appointment and I didn’t have to see her or have casual chat that sometimes dominates our conversations. We talk a lot about current events and other things that don’t have much to do with my mental health. Sometimes I like that distraction but mostly I feel irritated. I have to pay a co-pay to talk about current events? Stupid. But not today. That part was nice.
She knows about the custody arrangement and how the kids go to Florida for their breaks. She asked about it and so I had to tell her all the things. Well, most of the things. Like how two of the three didn’t shower at all in those 10 days. The other one only showered once. She asked how that happened. Well, Lynn, remember how much I have told you about the ex? None of this should be surprising if you’d been listening these last two years. Or the fact that he was super late bringing them back to us. Or how they ate complete junk for 10 days and now we’ve got to invest way too much energy getting them back on track. Simple things like closing the toilet lid and peeing INSIDE the toilet and not all over it. Or all over the floor. Cleaning nasty ears that have not been wiped out for those 10 days. And making sure they remember how showering works and how much they need to be showering per week.
I found this all amusing because it’s no longer a huge issue since the ex moved here. There won’t be many 10 day visits. I guess really that would only happen if we went on a vacation without the kids. But living with the parents will prevent the ex from sending them back dirty. I am so happy that they’re here now and will be making sure that the kids are cared for properly. While I’d prefer that just the parents were here and not the ex, it will be nice to have them available for pet sitting when we do go on vacation.
I still see this same NP and I think she’s ok. I’ve had some thoughts about switching up some of my medications, but I don’t really seem to be able to tell her. I’m not intimidated by her, but she just talks a lot and doesn’t give me much time to say anything. In the beginning, it’s like we have to run through this checklist of questions and then we can talk after that. But I think she does the medication ordering in the initial process. She’s kind of strange anyway.
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