I want people to see me as a real person with a huge struggle to reconcile how I was born with who I really am on the inside. I have lived a very performative life as the person I was expected to me, while suppressing everything real about me. I appeared to have no personality, was sullen and unhappy, and lived a very miserable life. I want people to see that it’s very easy to be scared of and not trust people who are different from you.
I want my blog to show everyone that being trans isn’t a choice. It hurts a lot, no matter what you do. Cruel people want to invalidate your existence while also telling you to just suck it up. Politicians use you as a caricature to divide when what I do with my body has very little impact on people who don’t know me. It has the most impact on my immediate family, then my extended family and friends. But strangers? It’s got nothing to do with you. Nothing about how I decide to live my life as an adult should upset you in any way. I am just trying to live my own life. You don’t have to like or agree with me, send a Christmas card, or give me another thought. All I ask is that you understand that I am a person who was born this way, has felt this way from a very young age, and lived with this torment until I could find a way to make the changes I needed to make to stay alive.
That’s it. That’s all I am trying to do here.
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