Category: Memories
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Great Sadness
My father texted me this morning to tell me that his sister, my aunt passed away last night. Ugh. There are so many layers to this. My father’s family of origin has been one of those topics I don’t really like to talk or even think about. His mother was a narcissistic, lying, dramatic bitch. […]
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Daily Prompt 12/20
Talk about your father or a father figure in your life. My father has been a frequent subject here for most of the time I have been blogging. Our relationship has never been what I wanted and needed but I do believe he does the very best he can do. I know he was under […]
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Daily Prompt 12/16
Tell us one thing you hope people never say about you… I like this daily prompt a lot. This is a great question. I hope people never say that I don’t or didn’t care. I care so much. Maybe more than I should in some instances. Sometimes I care so much that I sacrifice myself […]
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Daily Prompt 12/14
Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech? Yes, as a little kid I was in a bunch of plays. In third grade I was chosen to play a lead character in the school play but was unable to actually do it because I was scheduled for surgery the day of that play. […]
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who fits where?
I have never fit neatly into anything in my entire life. I was the girl who acted more like a boy. The boy that wasn’t really a boy. The kid that played with whatever was lying around including sticks, bugs, and toads. I was picked on for being too rough and for being poor. I […]
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Letting go of what never was
As I continue to think about my recent discovery about food being a positive connection to my father, I move forward. I am now in a place where I can see several things that I didn’t realize as a child or even as a younger adult. All of these realizations have been swirling around me […]
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sitting in my shame
Yesterday I had to do a VA exam for part of the claim that was initially deferred. But because I’ve already got 100%, these exams don’t even matter. I can’t get any more money at this point unless I lose a limb. But I still feel like I should finish all of these open exams […]
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My Misery
I can’t go too deep into myself very often because it hurts too much down there. It’s where the deepest traumas live, where the pain goes when I have to push it away for just a bit because I can’t cope with it. It’s where the question of “Why did I have to be born […]
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Mitch
Years ago I had season tickets to a college football team in a city nearby to ours. I love football and I decided to get season tickets the year the college brought back their football team after decades of not having one. I grew up with my dad having season tickets to our local college […]
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The Things I Want to Ask…but won’t
Why was it so funny to you to pick on me and make me feel small all the time? Why didn’t you trust me when you were the one who couldn’t be trusted? Do you even know how much you hurt me when you put me down in front of everyone like that? When you […]
Zander's Inside Voice 