Tag: suicide
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Wow
I found out today that a fellow blogger who wrote some really great stuff on mental health and was very open about suicide died earlier this month. She was open about what works and doesn’t for her, and all the aspects of her own mental health struggles. Her stuff was hard hitting and made you…
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The Inner Voice
Three years ago: Inner Voice-You are stupid. You make bad choices. You do everything wrong and you are worthless. You married someone that isn’t right for you way too soon. You didn’t even know this person. You are dumb. You had a kid too fast. Then you had three more kids. You are a fucking…
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Here we go again…
My psychiatric nurse practitioner was not open to me trying anything new for ADHD. She wanted to increase my Adderall so that I am now taking the max dose per day for adults. I loved the Adderall at first. Even the smallest dose made a huge difference initially. It was like it turned all the…
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Deep thoughts from the dark
I have been thinking recently about how I survived being suicidal for so long. Like I didn’t get close to attempting it after that first year. That first year I made plans more than once, wrote goodbye letters, and was very active in the process of choosing the right date and time. After that year,…
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Suicide
(Please be aware that I talk very openly and candidly about my own experiences with suicide. If this is not something easy for you, please don’t continue reading or read with caution. This is not meant to hurt or trigger anyone else.) I understand that suicide is something that is very difficult to talk about…
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Those Hard Things
Thinking about the deep things I avoid is kind of tough for me today. I feel myself wanting to avoid all of those things, even letting them in feels like too much right now. I know that I don’t need to pressure myself to finish that list today, but I want to get it done…
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Traumatic Independence
I first heard about independence as a result of trauma earlier this year. It blew my mind because as long as I can remember, my parents told me I was born independent. I think part of that is my personality and the other part is based on trauma. I’ve read a lot on attachment to…
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You can’t possibly know…
Something that has been grinding my gears for awhile now is this silly transphobic (debunked) theory about Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD). As someone who worked hard to hide from my feelings about my gender, this was interesting and upsetting at the same time. My curiosity got the better of me and I started looking…
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The kids have all gone to school…
and I have wasted no time taking that deep dive into my soul. It’s like I need to be without them to really look inside. The second I felt myself look inward, I knew today was going to be one of those days. Something is sitting on the edge in there, wanting to get out…