Tag: depression
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Inner Strength
I’m here. I’m surviving. And in some ways I feel myself thriving. The key for me is digestible small chunks of information. No doom scrolling, no freaking myself out with hours of reading the news on various platforms and social media accounts. The key for me is to preveng panic because that’s what takes away…
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Built for right now
I’ve been thinking these last few days about everything I have been through and how it was hard at the time in most cases, but how some of these things didn’t feel as hard until after the fact. Like in the moment I was just surviving and pushing through, not realizing that one day things…
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Motivation or Distraction?
I’ve watched this documentary on Prime a few times now. It’s called Bad Faith and it talks about how to religious right came to be and how they used Trump to achieve their goals, mainly around abortion currently. Overall it’s a very informative thing that I would recommend everyone take a look at. The reason…
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Dueling Journeys
Here’s a timeline of my journey to become Zander: Age 4 – I vividly remember sort of waking up and becoming conscious of myself as a person, a male person. I started choosing my own clothes and toys and I remember loving Spider-Man and other superheroes. Age 8 – My parents bought me a pink…
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Daily Prompt 9/29/24
The hardest personal goal that I’ve set for myself is to heal from my traumas and get to a better place mentally and emotionally. I used to react more than choose how I would respond to triggers. Now I try to be deliberate about how I will react to most things. Sometimes I still react…
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Daily Prompt 9/27/24
The trait I value most about myself is my charisma, or my rizz as my gen z/a kids hate me saying. It’s taken me my entire adult life to even realize and acknowledge that I have charisma. I have thought for a long time that I am introvert and need to be alone and away…
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Growth
I’ve been in therapy continuously for almost 4 years straight. It will be 4 years in January. I did some therapy online and with a military therapist on base prior to starting for real in January 2021. For me, I wanted to change things once I was retired because I could. I no longer had…
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Thinking about the past
There was a neighbor kid I played with for 4 years or so. He was a little bit older than me, maybe like 5-7 years older. I don’t really remember how old he was, just that he seemed way older than me. When I was really small, I thought he was fun. He knew a…
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Daily Prompt 7/23/24
I have not kept the tradition of abuse and the silencing/dismissal of children as inhuman and incapable of reasonable thought. Looking back, I can see that this is the thread of my upbringing that I have needed to pull for years. This is something that has never disappeared and they both continue to treat me…
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Healing
The blockage is still there inside me. I am not sure why or what it relates to, but I am starting to feel that there is a trauma that is unacknowledged, unspoken, and definitely in my way. It’s taking away everything I enjoy like writing, and even the optional lacrosse practices that I committed to…