Category: relationships
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Inner Strength
I’m here. I’m surviving. And in some ways I feel myself thriving. The key for me is digestible small chunks of information. No doom scrolling, no freaking myself out with hours of reading the news on various platforms and social media accounts. The key for me is to preveng panic because that’s what takes away…
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Dueling Journeys
Here’s a timeline of my journey to become Zander: Age 4 – I vividly remember sort of waking up and becoming conscious of myself as a person, a male person. I started choosing my own clothes and toys and I remember loving Spider-Man and other superheroes. Age 8 – My parents bought me a pink…
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Daily Prompt 9/27/24
The trait I value most about myself is my charisma, or my rizz as my gen z/a kids hate me saying. It’s taken me my entire adult life to even realize and acknowledge that I have charisma. I have thought for a long time that I am introvert and need to be alone and away…
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Dear Dad, take 3? 4? 5000?
I have spent so much time in therapy working through some really complex feelings about my father. I have spent even more time processing the various interactions we’ve had throughout my adult life and just how toxic he is towards me. It’s been a long, painful road. Lately I keep seeing social media crap about…
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Growth
I’ve been in therapy continuously for almost 4 years straight. It will be 4 years in January. I did some therapy online and with a military therapist on base prior to starting for real in January 2021. For me, I wanted to change things once I was retired because I could. I no longer had…
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Becoming Zander FOR REAL
I have been gone for a long time. I was stuck in my own head and in my own healing. I have been doing therapy every other week this entire time and really taking a hard look at my life, who is in it, and what changes I need to make to be my best…
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Thinking about the past
There was a neighbor kid I played with for 4 years or so. He was a little bit older than me, maybe like 5-7 years older. I don’t really remember how old he was, just that he seemed way older than me. When I was really small, I thought he was fun. He knew a…
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Daily Prompt 7/23/24
I have not kept the tradition of abuse and the silencing/dismissal of children as inhuman and incapable of reasonable thought. Looking back, I can see that this is the thread of my upbringing that I have needed to pull for years. This is something that has never disappeared and they both continue to treat me…
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Healing
The blockage is still there inside me. I am not sure why or what it relates to, but I am starting to feel that there is a trauma that is unacknowledged, unspoken, and definitely in my way. It’s taking away everything I enjoy like writing, and even the optional lacrosse practices that I committed to…
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Too Deep
I’ve been feeling really good lately. It’s taken me so much time to unravel everything that happened in my early years and how utterly awful my parents were to me as a child. It feels like it’s all finally come together and I feel better than I ever have. I think about parts of what…