Category: Memories
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It’s Real!
Last week I finally took my name paperwork to the probate court to start the process to change my name. I can’t believe I finally did it. It feels crazy to think that just a few years ago I thought all of this was impossible. But it is possible and I am doing this. I…
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Dueling Journeys
Here’s a timeline of my journey to become Zander: Age 4 – I vividly remember sort of waking up and becoming conscious of myself as a person, a male person. I started choosing my own clothes and toys and I remember loving Spider-Man and other superheroes. Age 8 – My parents bought me a pink…
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Daily Prompt 9/27/24
The trait I value most about myself is my charisma, or my rizz as my gen z/a kids hate me saying. It’s taken me my entire adult life to even realize and acknowledge that I have charisma. I have thought for a long time that I am introvert and need to be alone and away…
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Dear Dad, take 3? 4? 5000?
I have spent so much time in therapy working through some really complex feelings about my father. I have spent even more time processing the various interactions we’ve had throughout my adult life and just how toxic he is towards me. It’s been a long, painful road. Lately I keep seeing social media crap about…
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Daily Prompt 9/25/24
There are so many times where I’ve felt out of place. In fact, I think I have felt out of place more than I have felt included. But for this prompt, I’ll talk about my first day of 7th grade as a new kid at a middle school where 5 elementary schools funnel together and…
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Growth
I’ve been in therapy continuously for almost 4 years straight. It will be 4 years in January. I did some therapy online and with a military therapist on base prior to starting for real in January 2021. For me, I wanted to change things once I was retired because I could. I no longer had…
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Thinking about the past
There was a neighbor kid I played with for 4 years or so. He was a little bit older than me, maybe like 5-7 years older. I don’t really remember how old he was, just that he seemed way older than me. When I was really small, I thought he was fun. He knew a…
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Daily Prompt 7/23/24
I have not kept the tradition of abuse and the silencing/dismissal of children as inhuman and incapable of reasonable thought. Looking back, I can see that this is the thread of my upbringing that I have needed to pull for years. This is something that has never disappeared and they both continue to treat me…
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Healing
The blockage is still there inside me. I am not sure why or what it relates to, but I am starting to feel that there is a trauma that is unacknowledged, unspoken, and definitely in my way. It’s taking away everything I enjoy like writing, and even the optional lacrosse practices that I committed to…
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Daily Prompt 6/27/24
This is one of the more funny prompts I’ve seen. What I consider myself an authority on may not be ANYTHING that other people would consider me an authority on. I bet there are also a lot of people who are not self-aware enough to realize that they are not experts on anything who think…