Category: Mental Health
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The Inner Voice
Three years ago: Inner Voice-You are stupid. You make bad choices. You do everything wrong and you are worthless. You married someone that isn’t right for you way too soon. You didn’t even know this person. You are dumb. You had a kid too fast. Then you had three more kids. You are a fucking…
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Live your best life…
This is what I need to tell myself every day. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to trust myself and live by my own rules. Maybe I just need to keep working on developing my own rules, after living by everyone else’s rules for so long. So the question I need to…
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Now What?
Today my father and I worked on a lesson in this Emotionally Healthy Relationships course he became a facilitator for in his church. He wanted to practice it more than the one time they rushed through it in the training, and he thought it might help us improve our relationship. Initially, he was sending me…
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Take Your Pills
So I’m watching this documentary about college students taking ADHD pills to get through college. My mind is blown. I have read articles about this, but I guess I didn’t understand how prevalent it really is. The way that these students are talking about this is crazy. It’s so interesting to hear these students describe…
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Here we go again…
My psychiatric nurse practitioner was not open to me trying anything new for ADHD. She wanted to increase my Adderall so that I am now taking the max dose per day for adults. I loved the Adderall at first. Even the smallest dose made a huge difference initially. It was like it turned all the…
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Autonomy
Yesterday I went to get my hair cut. I normally go every two weeks because it grows so fast but I haven’t been in 5 weeks. I was letting it get shaggy for a 70s party I went to on Thursday at my wife’s work. Although my hair wasn’t exactly 70s, it was surprisingly long…
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No more pieces to give
I have officially given away all of my pieces today. Everyone needed something from me and there’s nothing more to give. I feel exhausted and spent. I know some of it is hormonal and some of it comes from being out at an event last night. My oldest tried to call me last night to…
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Generational Trauma
My dad and I are working on this relationship improving course from his church group. It’s been a challenge in a lot of ways and while we have had some improvements in our communication with each other, there are still things he just doesn’t want to hear. Today I brought up some of those things…
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Big Deal
I am still learning this. My internal monologue always tells me I am making excuses or making a bigger deal out of something. I have to work at turning off that voice or it will tear me to shreds every day. I am susceptible to gas lighting because of this internal voice. I already struggle…
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Blooming is blooming
This morning I woke up early and in a great mood, which says a lot since I was cranky last night. I had soccer practice with my younger team and they frustrated me to the point where I had to remind them that being at practice is a privilege. One that players who choose to…