Tag: trauma
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travel
Today we are leaving on a weekend trip. The place we are going is about 45 minutes from where I grew up and where some of my extended family lives. It’s where all of my grandparents are buried and where my parents owned two different houses in two different cities/towns. It’s where my elementary school,…
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Closure Not Needed?
This one hit me over the head yesterday. I always considered closure important and something that I needed to get over things. I was always upset when someone just stopped talking to me completely and I didn’t get all the answers I needed. I felt like I couldn’t just let things go and I was…
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Here we go again…
My psychiatric nurse practitioner was not open to me trying anything new for ADHD. She wanted to increase my Adderall so that I am now taking the max dose per day for adults. I loved the Adderall at first. Even the smallest dose made a huge difference initially. It was like it turned all the…
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Autonomy
Yesterday I went to get my hair cut. I normally go every two weeks because it grows so fast but I haven’t been in 5 weeks. I was letting it get shaggy for a 70s party I went to on Thursday at my wife’s work. Although my hair wasn’t exactly 70s, it was surprisingly long…
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No more pieces to give
I have officially given away all of my pieces today. Everyone needed something from me and there’s nothing more to give. I feel exhausted and spent. I know some of it is hormonal and some of it comes from being out at an event last night. My oldest tried to call me last night to…
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Generational Trauma
My dad and I are working on this relationship improving course from his church group. It’s been a challenge in a lot of ways and while we have had some improvements in our communication with each other, there are still things he just doesn’t want to hear. Today I brought up some of those things…
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Big Deal
I am still learning this. My internal monologue always tells me I am making excuses or making a bigger deal out of something. I have to work at turning off that voice or it will tear me to shreds every day. I am susceptible to gas lighting because of this internal voice. I already struggle…
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One Trick Pony
I have thought a lot about this blog and what I want to do with it and not do with it. I have read many other blogs and articles about how to write a successful blog. On one hand there seems to be some “conventional” wisdom about blogging and on the other, a “fuck it,…
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Dear High School Friend,
A little over two years ago, we became friends again. Way back at the end of our teens, we stopped talking. After dating for two years and me repeatedly hurting you, I hurt you for the last time. But only because I had to let you go. You represented a past that made no sense…