Category: Life
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Another Book to Be!
I started preparing for NaNoWriMo today. Last year I wrote a very rough draft of a book in the first half of November. I love that story still. I started to reread it a few weeks ago and it’s even better than I remember! It needs a ton of work to be a decent book…
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I Am Evil
I went off on my teenager today. We were traveling back from our trip and he was whining about being hungry. Now, there’a million and one reasons why this temper tantrum set me off today. 1. He CHOSE not to eat much this morning. Like, he did not want what was there and did not…
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travel
Today we are leaving on a weekend trip. The place we are going is about 45 minutes from where I grew up and where some of my extended family lives. It’s where all of my grandparents are buried and where my parents owned two different houses in two different cities/towns. It’s where my elementary school,…
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Closure Not Needed?
This one hit me over the head yesterday. I always considered closure important and something that I needed to get over things. I was always upset when someone just stopped talking to me completely and I didn’t get all the answers I needed. I felt like I couldn’t just let things go and I was…
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Vivid Dreams
I slept terribly last night. I take Clonidine for nightmares because they used to be so bad that I didn’t want to go to sleep. I didn’t want to take any medication for a long time because I wasn’t sure how I would react to it. But eventually I wasn’t sleeping well most of the…
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Two years ago
I lived almost a thousand miles from where I live now. I was finalizing my retirement from the Air Force. I was deciding what the rest of my life was going to look like. I was having horrific nightmares every night. I was scared of everything. I had recently learned how to manage my panic…
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Weird is Cool!!
I used to be afraid of my weird. But at the same time, for me, my weird was out there for everyone to see. I wasn’t like everyone else. And when I was really small, that didn’t matter to me. I didn’t care what everyone else told me I was supposed to be, I was…
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Untitled Drama
That whole thing with my cousin’s wedding got into my mind because of something else going on presently. I am still close with my ex’s family. They are still my family and we have all made an effort to stay in touch and celebrate holidays and big family events. Although I wasn’t sure that even…
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That painful conversation
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what I want to talk about with my dad for that relationship class we are doing. I am going with the infantilizing thing, but there’s a lot to it. I want to make sure I get as much as possible in the conversation and I hope he…
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The Inner Voice
Three years ago: Inner Voice-You are stupid. You make bad choices. You do everything wrong and you are worthless. You married someone that isn’t right for you way too soon. You didn’t even know this person. You are dumb. You had a kid too fast. Then you had three more kids. You are a fucking…