Category: Memories
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What IF?
I try not to dwell on the what ifs in my life because it can lead me down a crappy road. But sometimes it’s interesting to think about how one small change early in life could’ve set me up in an entirely different way than what actually happened. One of the biggest what ifs that…
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Addressing the past
So my dad and I continued on our quest to improve our relationship and bring it to a healthier place this week. The unit was on “clean fighting.” Sadly I could check off just about everything on the dirty fighting list; denial, avoidance, walking away, sarcasm, yelling, ignoring, and more. We didn’t do the activity…
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Dear World
My entire life has been shaped by the world outside of me up until recently. It’s only been within the last year that I have been able to take control of my own life and start living as I want to. I was brought up to be more concerned about what my neighbors think than…
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travel
Today we are leaving on a weekend trip. The place we are going is about 45 minutes from where I grew up and where some of my extended family lives. It’s where all of my grandparents are buried and where my parents owned two different houses in two different cities/towns. It’s where my elementary school,…
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Closure Not Needed?
This one hit me over the head yesterday. I always considered closure important and something that I needed to get over things. I was always upset when someone just stopped talking to me completely and I didn’t get all the answers I needed. I felt like I couldn’t just let things go and I was…
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Two years ago
I lived almost a thousand miles from where I live now. I was finalizing my retirement from the Air Force. I was deciding what the rest of my life was going to look like. I was having horrific nightmares every night. I was scared of everything. I had recently learned how to manage my panic…
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Family, Part III
I have noticed that when I sit down to write, family is on my mind more often than not. I’ve written about what makes a family, dealing with conflict within my family, and many of my struggles with my parents. I like to hear about other people’s families too. As I’ve gone through life, I…
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Now What?
Today my father and I worked on a lesson in this Emotionally Healthy Relationships course he became a facilitator for in his church. He wanted to practice it more than the one time they rushed through it in the training, and he thought it might help us improve our relationship. Initially, he was sending me…
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No more pieces to give
I have officially given away all of my pieces today. Everyone needed something from me and there’s nothing more to give. I feel exhausted and spent. I know some of it is hormonal and some of it comes from being out at an event last night. My oldest tried to call me last night to…
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One Trick Pony
I have thought a lot about this blog and what I want to do with it and not do with it. I have read many other blogs and articles about how to write a successful blog. On one hand there seems to be some “conventional” wisdom about blogging and on the other, a “fuck it,…