Zander's Inside Voice

I’ve hinted at possible changes coming up soon. Well, these changes are no longer possible, but will happen definitely.

The ex got a job nearby and will be here within a month. Because of the kind way my wife and I have handled things, the ex assumes we are all friends. Just a minute there, you.

I feel this energy inside of me that shows me there will need to be a conversation about the boundaries that will be in place.

I refuse to let anyone steal my happiness, especially by crashing into my world. The ex is a barrier-crashing nuisance sometimes. Although the distance has been a hassle when it comes to exchanging the kids, it’s been nice for other reasons, like the lack of invasion and giving me the space to heal all the damage from the marriage.

I have decided that I am going to take some time and jot down some ideas on what I need to say about these boundaries and how I will need things to go from now on. There has been a stringent routine in place for the kids and that cannot be disrupted during the school week. Routine doesn’t matter to the ex. Even when it’s best for the kids.

These will be challenging times as we try to settle into a newish routine some of the time once the ex gets here. One of the very few good things about this whole mess is that Boy #1 will be coming with him. Which means I get to be closer to him. I have missed him so much. He’s a chatty guy and phone conversations are always a lot. In person is so much better with him.

I spent most of today’s appointment with my therapist talking about these changes and she was amazing and supportive.