focus, Focus, FOCUS!!

My ADHD brain has lost its way. In the last few days I have left a huge trail of destruction through the house, been unable to finish tasks, and have been daydreaming more than ever.

Today was no different. I made a mistake that was so cringeworthy that I am hesitant to repeat it here because it makes me feel SO STUPID. But I will.

I had a haircut at 10:45 this morning. I knew I had to leave at about 10:30 to get there on time. At 10:10, I checked the time and thought to myself “Good, you are not late. Remember your appointment is at 10:45. At 10:27, the mail came. I decided to wait for it because I knew we were getting some packages that I didn’t want to leave outside while I was gone. So I waited for a minute and then I went to the door to get them.

What happened next still blows my mind hours later. Somehow I managed to completely forget that I needed to be AT my appointment at 10:45, not LEAVE by 10:45. And so I got out the door at about 10:40, proud of myself for getting out there five minutes early. i even wrote to my wife that I was actually sensing the time correctly. I WAS! But only if I was supposed to be leaving at 10:45!!!

It didn’t hit me until I was almost there and the time was 10:52 that I actually realized what I had done. I was embarrassed but it was no big deal. She’s always running late anyway. Except on the days when I am running late. In that case, she’s sitting there waiting for me. Several months ago, I thought an appoointment was at 11:30, and it was actually 11:15. I guess I mix up times more than I’d like to admit. I used to spend a lot of time calling myself stupid for these kinds of things. It’s so comforting to realize that there’s a reason for this and I can take my adderall and feel a little better and even do better most of the time.

But I still feel slightly stupid for what happened today. How could I do that within 20 minutes like that? It’s one thing if it was overnight or even over a few hours. But in 20 minutes, I got completely confused as to what time I needed to leave and what time my appointment was.

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