Yes and no.
I used to hold grudges against everyone for anything they did that felt bad to me. I am trying to heal and work through those grudges because they mostly hurt me in the long run.
But honestly, I think the grudge I will never let go of is the boy who pushed me into the duck pond on our kindergarten field trip. I mean, he shoved me hard and I fell in. I was wet for the rest of the field trip and when we got back to school, I had to change into nurse’s office clothes, which I only remember that they didn’t fit well. I remember when I got to my babysitter’s house, she asked me what happened to my clothes from the morning and I told her. In one of her rare moments of kindness, she washed and dried my clothes for me so that when I got up from nap, I could put my own clothes back on. I’m pretty sure she had better clothes that fit me, so she also washed the nurse’s office clothes so I could turn those back in the next day.
It was so embarrassing and I am fairly certain that we rode to the field trip in parents’ cars, so I had to change cars with someone who had a towel I could sit on, smelling like dirty duck water. I felt so bad and it ruined that field trip for me. I did like that duck pond and I went there many times before and many times after that field trip. But that kid, I still remember his name to this day. And I will never forgive him for shoving me in the duck pond.
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