Zander's Inside Voice

Dear Self,

I bet you never thought you could live this long, did you? How do you feel? Is getting old as bad as Grandma said it would be? Haha, I wish we could’ve done this the other way around, with you telling me what to do and making life so much easier. I guess I really just have questions for you, things to think back on, and hope that you really did ok.

First the questions…did you ever stop feeling anxious or did this plague us forever? What does a 90 year old or 100 year old even feel anxious about? Grandma always worried about people suffering from natural things or war or just overall crappy stuff. Is that what we worry about too? Or do we worry about the kids still? Speaking of the kids, did they turn out alright? Did they figure out what they wanted to do with their lives? Did they have kids?

Let’s think back now…do you remember the Air Force? All the deployments and the friends you had? Do you remember how many weren’t actually friends, but the precious few that stuck by you no matter what? Do you remember going to college and being a kid? Do we still talk to college friends? Is anyone still alive, even? What moments really stick out to you as important?

From where I’m sitting in 2023, I think about all of the hard things that are still to come, like losing older family members and just ageing in general. But I also think about the good things to come in the very near future and beyond. The life and times between you and me is still to come and I can’t wait to see how I get to where you are, if we can actually make it.