Zander's Inside Voice

I’ve become fascinated with the Enneagram. If you are unfamiliar, it’s basically an ancient personality test that tells which of these 9 personality groups you fit into. The cool thing about this vs Myers-Briggs, or any other test is that each group has a spectrum you fall into depending on how healed and functional you are. The type names are Reformer, Helper, Achiever, Individualist, Investigator, Loyalist, Enthusiast, Challenger, and Peacemaker. I am an 8, which is the Challenger. I am controlling, fierce, bossy, and protective. My wife is a 3, an Achiever. She is very goal orientated and can become easily overwhelmed when there’s too much to get done. Unhealthy 3s become very defensive and competitive. I never would’ve guessed myself to be an 8 but my answers on a test indicated that I am indeed an 8. I read through multiple descriptions on many websites and all of that confirmed that I was an 8 moving towards being more healthy and functional.

But what is interesting is that each type has its own basic fears and motivations. The conflict between types is based on these fears and motivations. It’s very similar to the 5 love languages, if you’ve ever read up on those. One person thinks they are showing another love because that’s what they’d how they would best receive love. Knowing your personality type can help you in all relationships in life. i wish I had known more about all this when I was younger. i could’ve avoided a lot more conflict that way!!

What fascinates me about people is how easy it is to feel slighted and make assumptions about another’s intentions. I am guilty of this on all fronts. I often felt like I was being trampled at work and became very defensive. It really did feel like everyone was out to get me. My relationship with my parents has always been tenuous. I didn’t ask my mom to do the test, I just did it for her and the results made no sense at first. Then I started reading the different levels and she is indeed a 9. That’s not a great fit with an 8. My dad is probably an 8, but he would take the test if I asked him to so I didn’t bother to do one for him.

Today we got the kids back and needed to kill some time before we could check into the hotel, so we went to a bookstore. I found two books about the Enneagram that I am excited to read. I’ve been doing so much soul-searching and healing myself and trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life, as I have been sharing on here. I’m beginning to think that I want to take some workshops on the Enneagram and use that to help people learn more about themselves and also to help them relate better to everyone around them. I think it would be fun to work with a group, either co-workers or families, or whatever group of people want to understand each other better. It would be awesome helping people improve their relationships with each other. I really think I have so much to offer people in helping them understand themselves better.