Yesterday I wrote all about Boy #1 and questioned his work ethic. The positive thing he did for me was talk to me last night and make me see him through his heart. Everything he said made me question our way of life in this country, my past, and my future.
For him, it’s not about work ethic, it’s about service. He wants to be of service to anyone and everyone. Part of it stems from poor self esteem and the other part comes from having a servant’s heart. Money doesn’t matter to him and that’s the real problem we’ve been having with him since he started working. He’s constantly buying food for other people, he randomly gave a homeless friend $200 to help him out, and he often bought gifts for his siblings when they visited Florida.
It made me cry, honestly. Because I know he will be ok. It’s not about motivation or getting started or anything like I thought it was. It’s purely about his desire to serve in some kind, peaceful way.
At this point I think all I need to do is teach him what he needs to be self sufficient. Teach him what he needs to make sure he handles for himself and then he can decide what comes next after that. He will never abandon anyone who stands by him and he stands by everyone he thinks of as a friend, even if they never do the same for him.
I can’t even explain coherently how this conversation has changed me in so many ways. My mind hasn’t stopped running since last night.
Zander's Inside Voice 
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