Tag: family
-
What now?
I feel something stirring inside of me. Something I am meant to be doing. Sometimes it feels demanding, like I am running out of time to do whatever this is. Other times it feels like I need to just slow down and listen, learn what this calling is about. I have tried on so many…
-
Being small
Back in March 2015 I finally broke. Everything was collapsing around me at home and at work. My marriage was failing, work sucked and I felt lost, and I just didn’t want to live anymore. What ultimately pushed me over the edge was finding out Boy #1 was dealing with serious bullying and wanted to…
-
It came today
Since I became an adult, I have had the original copy of my birth certificate that my parents received after I was born. The copy they used to register me for school, for extracurricular activities, again for middle school when we moved, and then in high school when we moved again. I used it to…
-
Anxiety, Dread, and…a car in the driveway?
today sucks. There, I said it. Today simply sucks. In December of 2021, I scheduled an appointment for this day. A regular appointment. The one that I hate with every fiber of my being because it’s all about the physical parts of me that I don’t want to acknowledge. The parts that make my life…
-
A Break
I took a few days off of writing. Things got busy here with needing to head back to Kentucky to pick up the kids, we got in late after that, and today is the first day of regular life in 2023 for us. I spent a lot of that time away thinking deeply about everything…
-
Post Holiday Stuff
As a kid, I always felt really sad after Christmas. I don’t really know why, even to this day. It was this feeling of letdown, I guess. We saw our extended family a lot, there were presents and good food and so much fun. And then we were just at home. My dad was a…
-
Great Sadness
My father texted me this morning to tell me that his sister, my aunt passed away last night. Ugh. There are so many layers to this. My father’s family of origin has been one of those topics I don’t really like to talk or even think about. His mother was a narcissistic, lying, dramatic bitch.…
-
Daily Prompt 12/23
When are you most happy? I am most happy when I am relaxed, watching something I really enjoy on tv or listening to music that I love, surrounded by my wife and happy kids. There’s no cleaning to do, or anything pressing I have to be thinking about or planning for. We do these great…
-
Kentucky, coming and going
Yesterday we had to take the kids halfway to FL to send them off with their other parent. 7 hours there, and 8 hours back, a little rain both ways, but nothing too terrible. What was the strangest part is all the packing they had to do and how we had to make sure we…
-
When the words don’t come to me
I feel a way today. About myself, my past, my future, who I really am. But I can’t put words to it. It feels like there’s this longing in me for something that will never happen. For a life that I’ve already been robbed of. I feel this deep, defining sadness about living a lie…
Zander's Inside Voice 